Jokes

Jokes

Here are sum good (but dirty) jokes that I got from different places....

If you find ne of these jokes too dirty or offensive, then I'm sorry...deal wit it!!

Who am I?

I am about 8 inches long. My functioning is enjoyed by members of both sexes. I'm usually found, hung dangling, loosely, ready for instant action. I boast a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In use, I'm inserted almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly into a warm, fleshy, moist opening. There I'm thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, I leave behind a juicy, frothy, sticky, white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from my long glistening shaft. After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, I return to my freely hanging state of rest ready for yet another bit of action. Hopefully I will reach my bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often it is much less.

Who am I?

As you may have already guessed...the answer to the riddle is your very own toothbrush!!

Little Tommy

Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points to her bush and asks, "What's that mommy?" A little embarrassed, she tells him its her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Sometime later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower shortly after she shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy asks her

"Where is your sponge mommy?" Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises him mother he will help her find it. His mother says OK and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in and says that he has found her sponge. "What do you mean you found my sponge? Where?" " The lady next door has it and she's washing daddy's face with it!"

White Liquid

There were two farmers on a farm. One farmer was sitting in the kitchen when the other one came in from the barn with a glass of white liquid. He was so excited because he had just milked their cow. The took a big drink from the glass. The other farmer just looked at him and said

"We don't have a cow, we have a bull."

A Dentist

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was taking a tour of a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown into a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patents he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms.

Wedding disaster

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals- a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night. The carpenter figured sawing slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to wire the bed with alternating current, of course. The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but he wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable. The nuptials went as planned and a few days letter, each of the groom's buddies received the following note:

DEAR FRIENDS,

WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK. BUT BY GOD, I'M GONNA KILL THE GUY WHO PUT NOVOCAIN IN THE VASELINE!!


Psyko Bitch \| home About Me \| 2Pac \| My Favorites \| My Favorites Continued \| Shout-outs \| Photos \| Other quotes \| Bitch \| Friend \| My Cat \| Doodles \| My Hobbies \| More Favorites \| Love Quotes \| Bin Laden Jokes \| Jokes \| More jokes \| Favorite Links \| Contact Me Jokes Here are sum good (but dirty) jokes that I got from different places.... If you find ne of these jokes too dirty or offensive, then I'm sorry...deal wit it!! Who am I? I am about 8 inches long. My functioning is enjoyed by members of both sexes. I'm usually found, hung dangling, loosely, ready for instant action. I boast a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In use, I'm inserted almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly into a warm, fleshy, moist opening. There I'm thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, I leave behind a juicy, frothy, sticky, white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from my long glistening shaft. After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, I return to my freely hanging state of rest ready for yet another bit of action. Hopefully I will reach my bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often it is much less. Who am I? As you may have already guessed...the answer to the riddle is your very own toothbrush!! Little Tommy Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points to her bush and asks, "What's that mommy?" A little embarrassed, she tells him its her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Sometime later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower shortly after she shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy asks her "Where is your sponge mommy?" Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises him mother he will help her find it. His mother says OK and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in and says that he has found her sponge. "What do you mean you found my sponge? Where?" " The lady next door has it and she's washing daddy's face with it!" White Liquid There were two farmers on a farm. One farmer was sitting in the kitchen when the other one came in from the barn with a glass of white liquid. He was so excited because he had just milked their cow. The took a big drink from the glass. The other farmer just looked at him and said "We don't have a cow, we have a bull." A Dentist A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was taking a tour of a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown into a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patents he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms. Wedding disaster The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals- a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night. The carpenter figured sawing slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to wire the bed with alternating current, of course. The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but he wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable. The nuptials went as planned and a few days letter, each of the groom's buddies received the following note: DEAR FRIENDS, WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK. BUT BY GOD, I'M GONNA KILL THE GUY WHO PUT NOVOCAIN IN THE VASELINE!!